Changing Your Pattern Exercise

In the last article, I gave you some concepts of what responsibility really is and what happens when we go into “below the line” behavior and the possibilities of staying “above the line.” Below, I am going to give you an exercise to work on changing your pattern to stay in “above the line” behavior as often as possible.

The Exercise

What are some of the things that you are creating in your life? This exercise will guide you in understanding it in a real way to help you make the changes you want. It is a high-level concept for high level conscious creators like yourself. You have the choice to create your life and how you want it to be.

Think of something that is occurring in your life right now, an issue or maybe something that isn’t going the way you want it to. Maybe you are stuck on not forgiving someone for something that happened or learn how to shift it.

  1. Take a couple of minutes to clarify and write down what happened in your situation and why you are upset.
  2. Write down who the person was that did something wrong to you.
  3. What should they have done differently from what they did? What should have happened?
  4. If they could fix it, how could they do it?
  5. What will happen to me if they don’t change or the situation doesn’t change?
  6. How am I going to feel?

Take notice as to how you feel after writing this down. Be mindful as to whether it feels heavy or light or if you feel better or not.

Use another piece of paper or draw a line to separate the page you are on. We are going to now work on shifting the feeling that came up for you and how you are responding to that person or situation.

  1. What challenge did I face?
  2. How did I choose to respond to the person or situation?
  3. What were the consequences of how I responded? Remember, there is a reaction to every action.
  4. Could I do something now to improve the situation or how I feel?
  5. What can I learn from this? What can I learn about, about how to communicate and how to respond?

Notice how you feel now. Do you feel empowered? Lighter? Is there a different feeling? Does it allow you to look at things in a different way?

The first set of questions is about being the victim and below the line behavior. This is all about the experience of blame, shame, justification, guilt, etc.

The second set of questions is about responsibility. These are the things you can ask yourself when something happens and you are the co-creator of that. How can you respond instead of reacting? What can you do to improve the situation and what can I learn from this?

You always have an opportunity to shift something when you are in the middle of a reaction by stopping and asking yourself these questions.

What people often forget is that life is about co-creation. You are co-creating together, it is a dance. Why would you want to step on each other’s feet when you could just glide around and tai chi your way through things so you can be in the flow of life rather than resist.

Pushing against the flow of life causes things to keep happening, “what you resist, persists,” and it doesn’t feel good and knocks you off center. When you allow and expand yourself, it allows other possibilities to come into your life. Trust and allow and don’t ask how.

You always have the opportunity, when something comes up in your life, to ask yourself these questions and help you rise above the line.

You should at this point understand responsibility differently. It then becomes a word in your life that will help you change the very thing that you are resisting.

In the final article of this series, I will be talking about attachment and how it relates to responsibility and “above the line” behavior.