Well, I just want to start off with welcome back! Despite all the travel, I am going to tell you that this blog is now going to get my regular attention, and I’m writing that down here as an affirmation of that. Let me say it like this … I’m posting new material to my blog at least once a week …
It may seem strange to some people to refer to affirmations as being either positive or negative, but both levels exist. However, at Essence of Being we would rather refer to negative affirmations as Bubble Talk and positive affirmations simply as affirmations. I suppose that no one wants to admit to consciously affirming the negative, although we see plenty of people doing this on a regular basis.
Going directly from negative self-talk (Bubble Talk) to positive affirming can cause problems. Recent studies have found that people with low self-esteem may actually feel worse after using positive affirmations. The reason for this is not so surprising. It is only natural that the subconscious mind will offer resistance to suggestions which contradict reality. We need to approach change gradually. It’s like driving a car. The gas is our desire and the brake is our resistance to believing it to be true. If we try to drive the car with gas & brake in at the same time, we spin our wheels. We feel like we are going nowhere.
Understanding the different levels on which our beliefs reside can alleviate this problem and make change happen more quickly in the long term. By determining where our current beliefs lie, we can progress forward at a comfortable pace and achieve permanent results. More importantly, by understanding how to turn the negative into a positive, we can begin to receive the real joy that is promised us in life. Right now, I want you to think about removing the negative from your affirmations and later this month, we’re going to have two “how-to” posts on building a better affirmation.
1. Negative Affirmations are the “bad” bits we use on a daily basis, usually without realizing how damaging they are. They usually begin with words like:
I can’t …
I’m not …
I don’t have …
They can also be simple statements we make about ourselves, such as, “I am exhausted“, which affirms the opposite of what we really want.
2. Disaffirmations are statements we make that begin with auxiliary verbs. They are often followed by the word ‘but’.
I would … but
If only … but
I wish … but
I should … but
I could … but
I’d like to … but
I might … but …
I’ll try … but …
Take away these auxiliary verbs, and quite often these disaffirmations turn into positive affirmations of doing.
The negativity of disaffirmations comes with the words that follow the word ‘but’. Here the disclaimers, provisos, and excuses our minds manufacture, are usually nothing more than negative affirmations… which takes us back to level one.
3. Anti-affirmations negate or defy negative habits, behaviors or issues.
I don’t eat junk food.
I never argue with my kids.
I no longer bite my fingernails.
All of these affirmations cause our subconscious mind to visualize the negatives we are trying to eliminate. Thus we actually end up putting as much focus on what we don’t want as we do on what we want. In the end, anti-affirmations end up working against you, not for you.
So what can you do? Let’s just start by taking the negatives out of them. Next week, I’m going to start with my next blog post “8 Ways to Write Better Affirmations.” As you work through these, think about how you are getting back in touch with all that you can receive. We take a much deeper dive into this in our upcoming Essence of Being workshop.
